


Little Taste of Heaven

by thetidesisrising



Series: i'm reaching out (and i just can't tell you why) [1]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e09-10 Luther Braxton (No. 21), F/M, Fluff, Keenler - Freeform, Pre-Relationship, nightmares from waterboarding, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 14:36:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4628949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetidesisrising/pseuds/thetidesisrising
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know you probably don't want to be asked this, but genuinely, how are you feeling?"<br/> (a tag to Luther Braxton Conclusion. AU. keenler.)<br/> {co-written with Song Of A Fallen Dove from ff.net}</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Taste of Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This one-shot is kind of a tag to Luther Braxton Conclusion but definitely AU, and written through the eyes of two keenler shippers, Song of a Fallen Dove and I. :) I did Ressler’s POV and Rainy did Liz’s POV which was really fun, because it’s been a long time since I’ve roleplayed. This is interesting because I got to work with a brilliant writer, so it’s not like it’s an obvious thread, it’s written more like a story. That’s all from me, so I hope you guys enjoy!!! xx   
> Hello all! I've had the privilege to write with this lovely author about my favorite pairing. Please enjoy! -Rainy)

The fury he harbored from the treatment she had received at the hand of Reddington consumed him, and this time, he chose not to hide it, the subtle clench of his jaw and the way that he shrugged off Samar and Cooper with the hand that was not wrapped around her tale-telling.

Fury was not the only emotion driving him; he treated her as if she were precious cargo, his fingers gently rubbing her upper back and shoulders, pressing her to him with extreme delicacy.

Something in the back of his brain marveled at the caress to his touch, he had always associated his hands with destruction, even when he had Audrey.

As they approached the car, he opened the passenger door for her, leading her into the seat and doing the buckling himself, he wasn't sure if the shock had worn off at this point, so he made sure the blanket was wrapped tightly around her core. He shut the door quietly, jogging around the back of the car and hopping into the driver's seat, starting then maneuvering the car away from the sirens and Reddington, his right hand slipping from the steering wheel to find hers.

Lizzie shuddered, her right hand clutching the blanket to her form. She felt his hand graze her left one, which shifted to grasp his.

It was quiet for a moment; the only sound was the steady hum of the radiator.

At the next red light, he briefly glanced toward her, his hand squeezing hers.

"Are you cold?" he asked, attempting to keep his voice as gentle as possible. "There's a Starbucks near the airport, I can buy you some tea or hot chocolate or something."

Liz gave him a half smile. "A little." She said with a nod, leaning on him slightly, but not enough to hinder his driving.

"Hot chocolate sounds nice." She added as a sigh, glancing out the window.

He hummed in response, switching his turn signal on and looking over his shoulder before making the turn into the Starbucks parking lot, hesitating before pulling up to the drive through window, rolling down the window and swiftly ordering a hot chocolate and a mocha with two shots of espresso. He felt a bit hypocritical, ordering caffeine after suggesting hot chocolate, but he knew that his presence was going to be needed tonight.

He gave the man at the window the required cash, counting the change before shoving the coins in his wallet and chucking it into the center console. Turning to grab the drinks, he muttered a quick, "thanks," before placing the drinks in the cup holders, rolling up the window and driving away.

"Yours is the one in the front," he said, cocking his head to his right side. "While the paramedics were looking over you, I made Aram book us first class. I didn't think coach was the best idea."

Liz nodded. She carefully picked up the cup with her free hand, letting the warmth seep over her cold palms. She sipped it carefully, swallowing the hot liquid quickly to avoid burning her throat.

"Don...you're coming with me, right?" She asked quietly.

He widened his eyes. In all of his inner turmoil about the whole Reddington and Liz situation, he completely forgot to ask if his presence was wanted. He tried to remain somewhat stoic, so that the affects of the searing pain of rejection would be well hidden.

"Of course Liz," he said, attempting to look away from the road and into her eyes via the rearview mirror. "Unless you don't want me to," he added, his body tensing as he waited for the inevitable rejection.

She caught his gaze and smiled slightly, her eyes glistening. "Of course I want you...there with me. I don't ever want to have to be apart from you, if I can help it." She replied softly, tugging the blanket closer to her.

He couldn't help the relieved sigh that escaped him as his body relaxed, a slight smile he reserved only for her spreading across his lips.

"I don't want to be away from you either Liz," he confessed, his eyes drifting back toward the road as the exit for the airport appeared in the near distance.

He turned onto the exit, using the curve of the ramp as an excuse to look at her.

"I'm taking you back to my apartment when we get back though, there's no way in hell I'm letting you sleep in that motel room, after today," he said, protectiveness seeping into his voice.

Liz chuckled lightly. "Thank you. I was getting sick of staying in those damn things anyways," she agreed.

She stared out the window again, starting to feel her mental exhaustion catch up to her. She sipped the hot chocolate, and it comforted her to an extent, but she felt content now that Ressler was with her.

Liz watched the skyline, her mind drifting and her focus wavering. She looked forward to a fulfilling night's sleep. Squeezing Don's hand gently, she hoped everything was going to be okay; at some point.

He pulled into a parking space in the rental car area, and having already taken care of the bill before he raced off to find her, his main focus was getting her to the plane safely. He walked to the passenger side, making sure to retrieve his wallet and drink before, helping her out of the seat, tucking her under his arm and making his way into the building to the check in booth. The line was empty and he hesitated, fully looking at her for the first time since she'd been unconscious.

"Do you want to wait here while they print the tickets or do you want to come with me?" he asked, gesturing toward a bench she could sit on while he took care of the affairs.

"I'll come with you." Liz said.

He nodded. He had expected the answer to be as such, and readjusting his grip on her, he marched them to the counter, flashing his badge.

"Agents Ressler and Keen," he began, his voice taking on his general know-it-all tone. "FBI, we're from the Washington DC field office, I believe Agent Mojtabi booked us for the next flight."

The woman at the desk, whom he pegged to be sixty-five and underpaid, seemed a little terrified at his initial approach, however getting over it quickly, she began to drum away on the keyboard as she hummed.

"Are you checking any bags?" she asked, and Ressler stared at the woman incredulously.

He lifted his go bag in the air, a pathetic excuse of a canvas bag his mother had bought him in Annapolis three years previously. "I think that carry-on will suffice."

She shrugged, muttering to herself as she printed the tickets, handing them to him and pointing to the far escalator. "Southwest is up there, enjoy your flight."

He tightened his grip on Liz, attempting to chug his coffee before he confronted the TSA, and looked over at Liz to make sure she was doing the same.

Liz seemed incredibly nervous, hesitant, or otherwise fleeting as she squeezed Don's hand and clutched her half full coffee in the other.

When they were close enough to TSA, having not finished her drink, she threw it away. She was silent, standing so that she was pressed against his side.

Her change in demeanor had not gone unnoticed by him, and he released his hold on her, bending down to take off his shoes. He immediately missed her warmth. After taking them off, he stood, rubbing a soothing hand along her back.

"Hey you're safe okay, I won't let anything happen to you," he assured her, removing his hand to take his watch off, and to place his firearm in the bucket along with his shoes and go bag.

Flashing the proper credentials to the weary TSA agent, he looked back at Liz.

"I need you to take your blanket off, can you do that for me?" he asked, attempting to seem as soft as possible.

Liz nodded and shrugged her blanket off, placing it as well as her credentials and firearm in the bucket as well.

She went to stand by Ressler as everything was processed.

They were let go moments later with a reminder to not use firearms on the plane, federal agent or not. Ressler had just simply nodded, refraining from rolling his eyes and the fussiness of the agents. He was not planning to blow up the plane damn it, all he wanted was to get Liz back in one piece.

He tucked her under his arm again, something that had began to become the norm over the past few hours, and preceded to walk toward the gate, relieved to find that they were beginning to board once they arrived. He directed her into the line, handing the flight attendant both of their tickets and after being approved, moving onto the plane.

Once they got to their seats, he was satisfied to note that the seats fully reclined into a bed, which he planned on making use of. He shoved his go bag in the overhead compartment, and stepping to the side to let Liz in.

"Window or aisle?" he asked, his lips slightly upturned.

Liz had watched Don the whole time, her blue eyes reflecting a fondness that had grown immensely since the whole Reddington ordeal.

"Window." She said with a nod and small smile that she returned.

He nodded, gesturing for her to take the seat.

Liz carefully stepped forward and sat down, glancing out the window before making sure Don could get in without a problem. She took a deep breath, the first one without fear since she'd gotten out of the recent past.

He settled in next to her, buckling his seatbelt, and turning toward her, his fingers brushing against her hand in question.

"I know you probably don't want to be asked this, but genuinely, how are you feeling?"

Liz raised her eyebrows slightly, eyes tracing the movement of his hand.

"Honestly... I feel a lot better than I thought I would. Tired, but... not too bad. I mean..." She sighed, giving up on trying to explain.

She looked at him, an apologetic smile gracing her lips. "I'm just really glad you're here." She added quietly, earnestly, as she placed her free hand over his.

He nodded, rubbing circles on the outside of her hand.

"That's good," he responded. "That's really good." He gave her a soft smile in return. "You can always call me Liz, I don't really have much of a social life."

He attempted to chuckle at his own weird sense of humor, before shrugging it off.

"I don't recommend you sleep here, even if it is a ten hour flight. It would be wiser to watch some movies and order food. I have some crossword puzzles in my go bag. I know it's a ridiculous request, but it's most likely to come back to you while you're asleep and I'm too terrified to give you any sleep aids since we still have no idea what they pumped into your system."

Liz nodded, biting her lip. Harder than she intended to, she might add silently as she winced slightly.

She knew it would be hard not to sleep, given she was mentally and physically exhausted, but she also knew Ressler was absolutely right. "So, what movies do you think they have available?"

* * *

 

 The rest of the flight was long and mundane, Ressler was so tired by the time that they landed, that he couldn't even recall driving them back to his apartment or even unlocking the door. He rubbed his eyes as he led Liz to his room, pointing to the bed.

"You take it," he said, stifling a yawn. "I'll sleep on the sofa."

"Are you sure?" Liz asked, arms crossed. The bed looked really comfortable, but she didn't quite know about the couch, as far as sleeping on it for eight whole hours went.

This time, he did yawn. "Yeah, I'll pass out as soon as I hit something, plus you deserve the bed after all of the shit they put you through."

He walked toward the ensuite. "I think I have an extra toothbrush in the bottom drawer and I'll get you some clothes to change into hold on."

Liz nodded to him and approached the bed, her hand slipping over the comforter. It felt like a solace, and she couldn't wait to get to sleep.

Get a fresh start. Away from that horrible place she narrowly escaped from.

He returned moments later with a Baltimore Ravens sweatshirt and some flannel pajama bottoms. He handed them to her, slightly leaning forward to brush his lips against her forehead.

"Goodnight Liz," he said whilst pulling away.

Liz took them, her heart pounding as he leaned closer. She watched him walk away, feeling overwhelmed but empty at the same time.

She padded into the bathroom and closed the door, emerging minutes later with her new attire on. It smelled faintly of Don, and she hugged herself as she tiptoed back to bed and slid under the covers. In no time, she was fast asleep, one arm hugging a pillow tightly.

The minute Ressler it the sofa he was out like a light, too tired to even dream.

Later that night, Liz had faint dreams or flashes of the waterboarding. Her dream self felt suppressed of air, and she thrashed in bed as she was entangled deeper into her distorted nightmare.

In real life, Liz whimpered here and there, sheets flying and panting breaths escaping the sleeping woman.

Ressler, having always been a light sleeper, recognized Liz's whimpers as they began to escalate to shrills, knocking his foot on the coffee table in the process to run to his room, and he slid onto the bed, attempting to grab her thrashing arms.

"Liz," he said softly, attempting to brush a few stray strands of hair away from her face. " _Liz_!"

Liz's eyes flew open and she gasped for air, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She said, biting her lip.

He released his grip on her arms.

"You're fine Liz, never apologize for what those bastards did to you okay? And don't worry about my sleeping schedule, it's been shit ever since Audrey and Meera," he confessed.

Liz sat up and calmed her breathing, pursing her lips. She remembered Meera's death. And felt awful that Audrey had died as well.

"I don't wanna add to the list." She muttered, pulling her knees close to her chest as she tried to hold the tears back.

“You could never,” he said, giving her a half smile. “If you want, I can leave you here to sleep, you still look tired and even though the nightmares will still be there it’s better off to face them then do what I did.”

Liz smiled too, sniffling. Grabbing his arm, she asked; "actually...could you...stay?"

He nodded, positioning himself so that he got under the covers with her, throwing one arm across her side.

“You’re really cold,” he said, a frown appearing on his face.

“Do you want me to get some more blankets?”

Liz sighed in relief, his warmth soothing her. "No," she murmured, burrowing closer to him.

He smiled in return, turning on his side, and nestling his chin on top of her shoulder. The lines between friendship and something more had been blurred for a while now, he mused, his eyes beginning to droop. A year ago he would have never suspected that this was a possibility, but now… it was all that was on his mind. Thoughts of her clouded his daily affairs. While before his actions has been hazy from the Oxy, now they were hazy from her. Her safety had become his number one priority, though he knew she could take care of herself he still fussed over the variables he couldn’t control, for example what happened to her while she was with Reddington had always driven him to the edge of anxiety, the relief in his system when she returned to the Post Office nearly evident for all of their coworkers to see.

Some may have called his infatuation with her well being a mere crush, but he realized he had feelings for her when she helped him with withdraw in Sitka. He chuckled, it seemed that the most pivotal events in their relationship happened due to trauma in Alaska.

Liz shivered slightly, adjusting to his warmth as she tucked her head in his shoulder and closed her eyes.

Sleep came quickly. Frankly, it was the best night's sleep she'd had in ages. Half conscious, she draped her arm over his midsection and sighed in content.

It was the first night in a year that he wasn't plagued with nightmares concerning what-ifs and should-haves. He had forgotten sleep could be so... _refreshing_.

He woke around six, his body hardwired for work. He smiled slightly at the way her arm was draped around his midriff, and he cautiously turned to check his charging phone on the nightstand, sighing in content at the message from Cooper to take a day off, and turning back toward Liz.

Liz hummed, her hold on him growing tighter as she fidgeted slightly. Then she sighed, her eyes fluttering open. They came to rest on Ressler, and a soft smile on her lips appeared shortly after.

He smiled at her.

"That was Cooper, he said we had the day off." He furrowed his eyebrows in concern. "How did you sleep?"

"Well. Really well. You?" She asked, absentmindedly tracing circles on his side.

He chuckled in response.

“Honestly, last night was probably the best sleep I’ve had all year.”

Liz hummed happily, snuggling closer to him. "Good. Well, what would you like to do on our day off?" She inquired.

He tilted his head in thought, his hands running up and down her back. “I haven’t been to the Smithsonian in a while,” he suggested, shrugging his shoulders in discontent. “I love the Air and Space Museum, well actually I love museums. He opted to rush into his next sentence, a little unsure of himself. “But we can do whatever you want, Liz. It’s probably been a while since you’ve had a day off.”

Liz chuckled. "You're sweet Don." She said, opting to use his first name.

"A trip to the Smithsonian sounds nice." Her back tingled as his hands ran up and down it, and she couldn't suppress her smile.

He grinned, sitting upward, and tugging her up with him. She had never really called him Don, and the way she said his name could fill him with joy for days.

“Well we better get ready then, I don’t know about you, but when I go to the Smithsonian I’m there _all_ day.”

He hesitated, before leaning in to kiss her on the cheek, pulling back and running over to his dresser to find something to wear. He had never been the touchy-feely type, but something about her brought it out in him.

“Do we need to stop by the motel to get you some clothes?”

Liz blinked in surprise as he kissed her cheek, a rosy blush blossoming on them moments after. At his question, her brow furrowed slightly.

"I don't want to...but I should." She replied. She crossed her arms and shifted her weight to one side as she watched him.

It's the little things, she thought. Small actions from him made her heart flutter.

He nodded, grabbing a pair of jeans and a long sleeve flannel shirt and heading toward the bathroom to change.

“I’ll be right back to drive you there, I think there’s some waffle mix in the pantry, I can fire up the waffle iron once I change,” he called over his shoulder as he walked into the ensuite and shut the door.

Liz nodded and sat back on the bed. She smiled at the thought of Ressler and herself making waffles.

He came out moments later, dressed but forgoing the hair gel, and walked to the doorway, gesturing with a cock of his head to the hall.

“You coming?” he asked, giving her a slight grin.

Liz blushed and sprung from the bed, joining him. She wanted to hold his arm, but bit her lip and decided not to. "You've made waffles before?" She inquired.

She didn't exactly see Don as the waffle baking kinda guy.

He laughed in response, leading the way to the kitchen.

“My younger sister had a fascination with waffles when we were teenagers. She’d always get up at the crack of dawn to make them for when I had baseball practice.” He shrugged, getting the mix from the pantry and milk and eggs from the fridge. “We never really got along when we were younger, besides waffles. Before I left for college, she showed me how to make them like her, claiming that I was horrid at it.”

He cracked the eggs into the bowl and said, “There’s measuring cups in the far left drawer, could you get me them please?”

"That makes sense." She replied, still proudly donning her – er, _Don's_ Raven's t-shirt and pajama pants.

Liz went over to the drawer and found the measuring cup, setting them on the counter beside him.

“Thanks,” he said, measuring the proper amount of powder and milk into the bowl, mixing furiously.

“What about you? I know Sam adopted you, but you must have had waffle bonding time or something.”

Liz nodded and chuckled at the terminology "waffle bonding time."

"Well, we loved to go to the zoo. I always enjoyed petting the giraffes." She said, blushing at bringing up one of her fondest memories.

He laughed in response. “We went to the zoo a couple times, but Kathy stuck her hand in the ostrich exhibit and nearly got it bitten off.” He shook his head, and light up the stove. “She’s a lot of fun; high drama, but a lot of fun. I think you’d like her, next time she visits, I’ll make sure you come over.”

He poured some of the batter onto the iron, carefully tending to one at a time.

“Just whatever you do don’t challenge my nephews in mariokart. They may be 5 but they can beat you,” he said seriously.

Liz watched with tenderness in her eyes as Don made the waffles. "No mentioning MarioKart. Got it. What are your nephews names?" She asked, smiling.

He removed the waffles with ease, serving them onto two plates.

“Matthew and Kyle,” he replied, slightly beaming. “I don’t see them that much anymore, Kathy lives up by my parents in Minnesota. They’re really big skiers, well, who am I kidding, I’m a pretty big skier too.”

He spun around, handing her a plate.

“We can eat at the breakfast bar,” he said, walking over and taking a seat.

Liz smiled, taking her plate and sitting beside him. "I've never been skiing." She said with a chuckle.

He raised his brow in disbelief. “Really? You strike me as a skier.”

He began to fidget nervously, a slight blush spreading across his cheeks. There was something about her that made his body react as if she were his teenage crush.

“Well, next time I go and see them, you should come with me…I umm, I could teach you how to ski,” he said, tugging his ear.

Liz grinned, his shift in disposition seeming to affect her as well. "I'll probably fall. A lot." She chuckled.

"But that would be nice. I can't wait." She added. She began to eat her waffles, nodding in approval of his cooking job.

He couldn’t help the shit-eating grin that appeared on his face, and finished eating the waffles in silence, high on the fact that she had just accepted a form of date with him, without him clearly saying that it was a date.

“You ready?” he said once he had finished cleaning. “We’ll drive back here afterwards, it’s like a twenty minute walk to the American History Museum from here, and I don’t feel like finding a parking spot.”

Liz nodded, stretching as she stood. She took the plate in her hand and went to go place it in the sink.

In a bold move, he lightly grabbed her arm, leading her out the door and to his car, opening the door for her.

“I assume you know how to get there from here,” he said. “I haven’t been to the motel.”

"It's the one down the block from Walmart." She said, getting in and buckling herself.

He nodded in response, heading over to the driver's side and pulling out of the parking garage and into the flow of traffic.

"Are you planning on getting an apartment any time soon?" he asked as they pulled into the dingy motel's parking lot. "Or do you plan on living out the rest of your days in this place?"

Liz blinked at his latter question, wondering if he had a certain implication. "No way in hell I am ever going back to that...place that Tom and I lived in. Right now though...I don't know. I guess one day, when you're sick of having me around," she half joked. "I'll stay here forever..."

He struggled to find the right words, pulling into a parking space, but making no moves toward unbuckling himself.

“Well, I don’t think I’d ever tire of having you around, Liz,” he replied with an obvious blush on his face. “And… tell me if I’m moving too fast, because I haven’t even kissed you properly or told you how much I care about you, but would you like to move in with me?”

He put his head in his hands, waiting for the impending rejection he knew to be coming.

Liz's mouth was now agape. She let out a laugh. "You're full of surprises, aren't you? I'd...I'd love to move in with you. If I'm not intruding on anything." She added the last part after a moment of silence.

He tried to cover up some of what he had said by rambling. “Of course you wouldn’t be intruding on anything, but I probably was the one who was intruding, I mean, dummy me, thinking that you’d even feel the same so soon after Tom. I’d understand if you wouldn’t want to date anyone, me especially seeing as I was such an ass to you until Anslo Garrick, so I think I would be able to keep them down of course.”

He gulped, trying to avoid meeting her gaze. He wasn’t sure if anything he had just said made even a tiny bit of sense.

"You are a welcome relief from Tom." Liz assured him, rubbing his shoulder. There was a change in her voice when she mentioned her ex husband's name.

"And Tom changed me, but in some ways for the better. He led me to you."

He gaped at her in disbelief, finally looking her in the eyes.

“Are you sure?” he asked, pain filling his eyes as he thought of past relationships. “Audrey crippled me, she left and then came back, and then she left again, and when I finally started to get my feet off the ground, Reddington brought her back only for her to leave my life in a more… negative way.”

He shuddered, his right hand leaning over to touch hers.

“I could never give you the stability, I’ve had my battles, some you were there to witness and other’s not. Though I have the ability to care for you with every ounce of my being and try to protect you, I don’t think I could be what you need.”

He wasn’t sure why he was suddenly attacking himself, it was as if he was trying to convince her to say no, and trying to give her a reason to look at him in a different light. He had always been strange in that account, managing no more than to push people away.

Liz's eyes widened slightly and she considered what he said. She bit her lip. "Do – Ressler, if you don't want to try...us, just tell me." She said, her voice breaking a little.

She looked down and dropped her hand. Her mind was racing and her heart was pounding. She felt sick to her stomach, knitting her brow as she tried to push the anxiety away.

He quickly tried to make amends.

“Oh shit, Liz that’s not what I meant.”

He looked at her for a moment before, grabbing her arms.

“Oh fuck it,” he exclaimed, pulling her flush against his body and pressing his lips to hers.

Liz's eyes widened at his action before closing in bliss. _So this is what heaven feels like,_ she thought, one hand grabbing his hair with care as the other wound around his shoulders.

Her heart was pounding, her entire body tingling. Instead of feeling sick to her stomach, she felt butterflies instead- like a teenage girl being approached by her crush.

Due to her positive reaction, he deepened the kiss, nipping at her bottom lip. He pulled away a couple moments later, leaning his forehead against hers as he attempted to regain his breath.

“So I guess I’m able to do that again?” he asked, giving her a small smile.

Liz smiled into the kiss and sighed when he pulled away. "You're not getting any objection from me." She murmured.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed!!! Expect more from us soon! Also, I’m working on my first keenler multichap, an AU which is chugging along nicely, so keep on the lookout for that :) Please review!! xx


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